The Mike Maher Blog

(I was looking for a good picture, but couldn't find one without his better half in the picture)
My good friend Mike Maher wrote a message on my facebook profile asking when I would "split some wisdom" to the world with a new blog. I asked him for some material he wanted to hear and this is what he replied:

Mike Maher hmm..some topics:
-re-naming "March Madness"... perhaps, "Spring Shitshow" is more fitting.
-Your dad's opinion of Gilbert Arenas
-The greatest mascot of all time
-Best superstitions you've come across in your teams
-tiger wo- wait nevermind
-Cheerleading: Sport or extracurricular activity
-Names your parents were going to na...me you prior to deciding on the WASPY "Kevin"
-Condiment you can't live without
-Nutsacks; just silly or underrated?

No need to thank me. Just send me a check.


So here are my answers..
march madness should be renamed.."Expletive!!! Butler always does well in the tourney and the Big East sucks the house out. There goes my life savings. I hope that bookie doesn't try and kill me." Not sure how CBS would broadcast that though.
My Dad hates the NBA and everything it stands for. Won't even watch it. If he turns it on he usually just yells at the TV and all the players on it for not playing fundamental basketball and not playing defense. So I'm sure Gilbert Arenas is just another reason to hate the game for him. I told him I saw the Wizards coach Flip Saunders out to eat last night and my Dad asked if he was packing heat.
Greatest actual mascot of all time has to be the Stanford Tree. It's a tree, that just bombs around during the games. Thats funny to me. The greatest name for a team would have to be the University of California at Santa Cruz "Banana Slugs." "Here we go Slugs" Let's go get 'em!!"
The best superstitions I've seen while playing could be a whole Blog in itself. So it will be! check back later for that one!
Tiger Woods. I'll say something quick. He is playing at the masters, but I don't really care about that. I can't wait to put the Masters on TV and take a nap on the couch. PERFECT sleeping noise. Instant snooze button when that comes on.

Cheerleading-Activity. But the male cheerleaders I respect. We all know why they are there, and they are usually pretty jacked. No Homo.
My dad legit wanted to call me Hubble Gardner Schaeffer. I think he heard it in a book or a movie one time, but I probably would've never left my house if that was my name. Or talked to my Dad. Both. Ever.
I absolutley cannot live without Ketchup. I put it on EVERYTHING. When in doubt put ketchup on it. Eggs, steak, potatoes. Check. I didn't like hot dogs when I was young so I would take the hot dog roll and pour ketchup in it and eat it just to fit in. Pretzels, dip them in ketchup. Potato Chips, dip them in ketchup. Ketchup, dip it in ketchup. I need to switch over to Organic ketchup now though cause there is way too much high fructose corn syrup in regular ketchup and I'm trying to watch my figure.


Nutsacks. Silly. I love when you see a truck with the nutsack hanging from the license plate. I laugh at that.


Thanks for coming out!