The Mike Maher Blog

(I was looking for a good picture, but couldn't find one without his better half in the picture)
My good friend Mike Maher wrote a message on my facebook profile asking when I would "split some wisdom" to the world with a new blog. I asked him for some material he wanted to hear and this is what he replied:

Mike Maher hmm..some topics:
-re-naming "March Madness"... perhaps, "Spring Shitshow" is more fitting.
-Your dad's opinion of Gilbert Arenas
-The greatest mascot of all time
-Best superstitions you've come across in your teams
-tiger wo- wait nevermind
-Cheerleading: Sport or extracurricular activity
-Names your parents were going to na...me you prior to deciding on the WASPY "Kevin"
-Condiment you can't live without
-Nutsacks; just silly or underrated?

No need to thank me. Just send me a check.


So here are my answers..
march madness should be renamed.."Expletive!!! Butler always does well in the tourney and the Big East sucks the house out. There goes my life savings. I hope that bookie doesn't try and kill me." Not sure how CBS would broadcast that though.
My Dad hates the NBA and everything it stands for. Won't even watch it. If he turns it on he usually just yells at the TV and all the players on it for not playing fundamental basketball and not playing defense. So I'm sure Gilbert Arenas is just another reason to hate the game for him. I told him I saw the Wizards coach Flip Saunders out to eat last night and my Dad asked if he was packing heat.
Greatest actual mascot of all time has to be the Stanford Tree. It's a tree, that just bombs around during the games. Thats funny to me. The greatest name for a team would have to be the University of California at Santa Cruz "Banana Slugs." "Here we go Slugs" Let's go get 'em!!"
The best superstitions I've seen while playing could be a whole Blog in itself. So it will be! check back later for that one!
Tiger Woods. I'll say something quick. He is playing at the masters, but I don't really care about that. I can't wait to put the Masters on TV and take a nap on the couch. PERFECT sleeping noise. Instant snooze button when that comes on.

Cheerleading-Activity. But the male cheerleaders I respect. We all know why they are there, and they are usually pretty jacked. No Homo.
My dad legit wanted to call me Hubble Gardner Schaeffer. I think he heard it in a book or a movie one time, but I probably would've never left my house if that was my name. Or talked to my Dad. Both. Ever.
I absolutley cannot live without Ketchup. I put it on EVERYTHING. When in doubt put ketchup on it. Eggs, steak, potatoes. Check. I didn't like hot dogs when I was young so I would take the hot dog roll and pour ketchup in it and eat it just to fit in. Pretzels, dip them in ketchup. Potato Chips, dip them in ketchup. Ketchup, dip it in ketchup. I need to switch over to Organic ketchup now though cause there is way too much high fructose corn syrup in regular ketchup and I'm trying to watch my figure.


Nutsacks. Silly. I love when you see a truck with the nutsack hanging from the license plate. I laugh at that.


Thanks for coming out!

It's Upset City Baby!

I filled out my bracket this year with high hopes. I was writing in a few upsets here and there, picked some teams that aren't a high seed but usually do well in the big dance. My picks were just flowing off the pen and I felt like I had a winner. Then the games began and teams that I picked decided to take a huge dump on the tourney and use my bracket to wipe their behinds. The Big Least really let me down, especially after hearing all the ESPN analysts talk about how it was the greatest conference in the country this year. Guess Not. Hey Villanova, give me my money back cause you were godawful this year. I actually picked them to win the whole thing this year. They were a #2 seed and usually do well in the tourney. Boy I was way off! I'm rooting for Cornell to go all the way this year. I picked them to reach the sweet 16 and they did. And as usual, I would like Duke to go far. I just don't think they have the athletes to do it. Only time will tell! As much as I am upset that my teams S'd the bed in the tourney, it does make for an exciting March. I mean who doesn't really enjoy an upset. (Besides the guy who lost a buttload of money to their bookie) It will be interesting to see how the rest of the tourney plays out! Check back to see how I finish in our pool.

As my man Randy Jackson would say the Charlotte Checkers are hot baby! They have rattled off 7 straight wins and have gotten a total of 17 out of a possible 18 points in their last 9 games. With a tough road schedule out of the way, the Checkers are going to enjoy a nice 5 games at their home barn, then finish off the regular season with a nice trip to Florida for two games.(Just in time to catch some Red Sox-Twinkies spring training ball). Last time we were in Florida this is what we were looking at:





Tough Life, I know...
It should be a fun trip. With a few games in hand on the teams in front of us in the standings we have a shot at getting first in the conference. With the playoffs right around the corner I hope the Checkers are peaking at the right time. Especially since our owner promised us he would match our playoff bonus and said us all on vacation!! Count it!! Let's do it Checkers!
In not so awesome news, but not really that bad, I received my 4356322nd black eye over the weekend. Add that to a cut under my eye and the cut on my lip and I look pretty good. This time my left eye was the victim of a hard and high hit, while a reebok 7K got me good in the lip. Every person I see looks at me funny or asks if I won the fight. I wish I could tell them a cool story, but once again..I got nothing. I bruise like a peach!


Anyway with all this good weather, I'm not excited for the season to be over, but excited for summertime. I guess not many people aren't. It's not like you ever hear anyone say "Ughh, the weather is getting so nice, I'm dreading this upcoming summer, it's going to be miserable." That was dumb. Anyway until next time enjoy this classic! Ohh nooo, Ohh she's really hurt. I hope she's ok!

Tiger Tiger Woods Ya'll

Just found out Tiger Woods is coming back for the Masters. That's going to be a circus. All eyes on Tiger at that tournament...So I guess things haven't changed too much. Anyway the reason I bring this up is because we had our Checkers Charity golf tournament yesterday. Awesome time and beautiful Weather. A few guys ended up getting some good sunburns and mixed that with the some wobbly pops and it's a fun day. Throw in a few more wobbly pops and it turns into a great day. It usually gets pretty scary though leading up to the tournament because you never know what kind of group you are going to get stuck with. It could be a LONG 18 holes if you're with some random jabronis. Luckily for me I had a great group. All good guys, but all good golfers. I for one am not the best golfer. Trust me, I look good, but it doesn't usually translate to good scores. I haven't swung a club in about 5 months too so I was pretty sure I was going to embarrass myself. Well I didn't embarrass myself I actually played pretty well...for the first 9 holes. After that the wheels started to fall off. I duffed a few shots pretty bad. And I couldn't sink a putt for the life of me but that's neither here nor there. All in all I had a good time and it was all for charity!




So does everyone remember seeing the video Everday Normal Guy? Yes? No ok, so this guy made a video a few years back that was pretty funny called Everyday Normal Guy. It's pretty self explanatory. I was just introduced to another song of his that I can't get out of my head. I think it's hilarious. So for your viewing pleasure I give you both: (Warning: Bad Language)







Ok, so I know I've been on a music kick lately, but also check out the link on my facebook profile with Zac Brown and Jimmy Buffett. Classic!

Rolling Stones theme week on American Idol this week too. In case everyone was on the edge of their seat wondering. They better step up their game. I haven't been too impressed so far.

By the way the Checkers are hot. Hopefully we can keep this unbeaten streak going. We are in gorgeous Elmira, NY then the old stomping grounds Reading, PA before returning home to take on Uncle Tony Zanc and the rest of the Trenton Devils.

See ya next week! And tell me you didn't laugh when you see this picture..

The Weather Is Here, Wish You Were Beautiful!

So we've had a few awesome days down here in Charlotte. Yesterday, we took a boat out on Lake Wylie which is a few minutes away from our apartments. It was awesome. Just a bunch of us guys jammin to some tunes throwin back a few adult sodas. Some real male bonding going on. It was just nice enough to throw the shirts off a bit and try and get some sun on our pasty white skin. When the wind picked up it got a little cold, but it was principle that we were out on the lake, so we had to go Sun's out Guns out! Here's a snapshot of a few beauties to the right! It unfortunately rained today, but hopefully after that it will start to get real nice for the rest of spring. Can't wait!

Beauty!!!




It's a Wednesday night, so obviously I am watching American Idol. And of course I didn't miss it last night either. I was not impressed by any of the girls, but I think Siobhan, Didi and Crystal are the best. In that order. Now the guys just finished and I will say I was impressed by my main man Big Mike. YEAAA DAWGG!! BIG MIKE IN DA HOUSE! He killed it, making Kara cry. I hate Kara more and more after each show by the way. I thought everyone did a pretty good job though. Pretty much the guys beat the wheels off the girls. Which is to be expected cause guys are better than girls at everything. It's science. Look it up.



Staying on the music scene, I got a couple good tunes for you to check out. Here they are:





If you have any songs for me to check out let me know. Love checkin out new tunes!

I got The Hurt Locker Fired up in the DVD player and I've been itching to see it, so that's all folks.

We're Still Better Than You

So Canada won the Gold Medal. Well Whoop-Dee-Doo. A big collective sigh of relief by Canada. All of Canada is gloating about their big win against the US in the gold medal game yesterday. I'm not gonna hate on them by making excuses because from what I heard it was a great game. (I had to play my own game during the gold medal game so I couldn't watch. It was only one of the biggest games in recent memory, No big deal.)But I'll let Canada live it up for winning you know why? Because it's all they have! Name something else Canada is good at. Curling is all that comes to mind. Mike Myers, Jim Carrey and Shania Twain. That's about all Canada is good for. So let them have their glory. I'd like to compare it to the US winning the gold medal in basketball in the summer olympics. Like they should win. Everyone in America plays basketball, everyone in Canada plays hockey. Good job Canada for winning..err not blowing it. We're still better than Canada in the game of life.

A true Canadian.


Ahh Regency 202. Good times!


As I mentioned earlier, the Charlotte Checkers took a nice road trip out to Cincinnati, then on to Kalamazoo, Michigan for a 3 game road trip. The trip started out good as we won a good game in Cincy on friday night, then we unfortunately dropped two games to the Wings. Let me tell you, what a city! Beautiful! Anyway, it was great to grab some dinner with some good friends Tom Morrow and Brian McGuirk. Oh wait, no Guirky decided he had to go play with his dog instead of coming to dinner. What a great guy huh? We even made plans during warm ups, but I guess since he scored a goal in the game (illegally) he was too cool to meet up with an old friend. I enjoyed my company though. Tom and his lovely girlfriend Lauren made for great conversation, while enjoying a great meal.



A quick American Idol update. My girl Janelle Wheeler was given the boot. Unfortunate, but her performance looked like it belonged at T's Pub on a Tuesday night. My good buddy and big AI fan, Adam McQuaid was distraught over Janelle getting sent home after sending me a message displaying obvious signs of disgust. Just don't make fun of him or else he'll do this to you:



Anyway, I was very unimpressed by the last weeks performances. I hope this week the nerves will be calmed and some good performances will prevail!

I am going to see Darius Rucker and Kellie Pickler in concert this week. You're kidding yourself if you don't think I'm yelling "HOOOOOTIE!! PLAY LET HER CRY!!!" the whole time.


Hi-yah to this blog post!